A Lesson from CLP

Was going thru a really hardtime in my life since monday
yeah Monday was THE DAY which CLP results came out
so
my final score with CLP was 4-1
i get a conditional pass

Honestly, i should have seen this coming after the first paper
and i had really tried to prepared myself all this while that i might have to resit my civil procedure paper
however when this really become the truth
it is just too much for me to accept it

CLP is well known for its really low passing rate
but i thought that if i study really hard, went to all the classes, do whatever the lecturer want us to do and follow all the instruction given
i will become one of the 20% that pass their CLP on the first try

so
i work really hard since the day we started our first class
i followed all the instruction given by the lecturer
i did whatever questions or exercises the lecturer want us to do
i even went to ALL the mock exams knowing that the papers won't be mark by the lecturer

i really tried my best
i did not stop studying up until the moment i walk into the exam hall
i thought that all my hard work will be paid off in the end of the day

but
this is a whole different story with CLP
the saying of 'all-your-hardwork-will-be-paid-off' does NOT apply in the CLP world
or maybe
it does not ALWAYS apply in the real world

when i was sitting in the corner waiting for my referral exam registration in the CLP office
Mr Chandran from Brickfields came forward and told me:'girl, why are u looked so sad? you should be jumping in joy to get a conditional pass. Your coursemate who get a conditional pass was so happy and jumping just now.'
at that moment, i just couldn't hold my tears anymore

How could i not feel sad?
i mean i know that getting a conditional pass is good enough because i only have to resit one paper that i failed ie civil procedure
but i couldn't stop myself from comparing with those who get a clear pass
because
i believe that i did not spent lesser time studying and put in less effort in preparing myself for the exam as those who get a CLEAR pass
i couldn't even comfort myself by saying " i should have work harder for the exam" because i DID TRIED MY BEST and STUDIED VERY HARD

But

this is the fact

and i have no choice but to accept it

there are so many people who sits for CLP for more than one time

even Karpal Singh sat for 3 times

maybe it is just the time for me to grow up

and a challenge for me to see how strong i can be

so
i wouldn't blame myself for not working hard enough this time
or blaming the God or anyone for my own failure

even though it hurts everytime when i saw someone congratulating some other in fb for passing their CLP or when i received texts asking me about my results
i just need to learn to accept the truth and walk away from the pain

This is not the end of the world
I still have a chance to pass the CLP

and actually, i did quite well in the other papers
so i am not going to give up here
Thanks for all the encouragement, love and helps from everyone who care about me
and I will put in my 200% effort for the coming resit exam

FIGHTING~!

"Life isn't about waiting for the storms to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain"